Ever since the Garden of Eden, the spontaneous reaction to problems has been to find someone to blame. Adam blamed both God and Eve. She blamed the serpent. Blaming someone else, rather than accepting responsibility for our own conduct, doesn’t fix the problem. Actually, as long as we do not acknowledge our fault, God cannot forgive us, since in our head, there’s nothing to forgive (1 John 1:8-10). Falsely pleading innocence or ignorance violates God’s terms for forgiveness.
Blaming others, especially when we are clearly at fault, not only doesn’t solve problems, but only causes more problems, including the damaging and loss of relationships. Whenever there’s a problem, let’s look within to see if and how we contributed to the situation. This requires honesty and humility. If someone has to tell us that we’re wrong when it is obvious that we’re wrong, that speaks to our lack of honesty and humility.
It is this lack of honesty and humility that makes us seek to be the victim when we do wrong. A person who refuses to acknowledge and accept responsibility for their fault, will invariably continue to perpetuate the same conduct and cause the same problem over and over. After all, if, in their mind, there’s nothing wrong with their conduct, then why should they stop? The result? Broken relationships.
As hard as it is to fathom, there are those who would rather lose an otherwise great friendship or relationship, than acknowledge their fault in a matter. Such is the corrosive, destructive power of pride. The saddest part is that relationship after relationship is made to suffer, because of a refusal to simply stop and honestly look within. All sinners appear rather great in our own eyes, but when we look upon Jesus, it becomes clear that we’re not all that after all. In fact, we’re nothing without Him.
It is impossible to be happy when we blame others for our own shortcomings. No amount of pretending that we’re just fine can give us the liberating feeling of well-being that we need. So whenever there’s a problem, remember, don’t fix the blame, fix the problem. If we are committed to the process of being better, Paul declares that “it is God who works in you, both to will, and to do His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).